Johnny Law and the bridge.

Things change, oh my...now don't they?
I started out my little journey in life for another purpose. Or...so I thought of course.
Until I met Emma and her family. They changed me greatly. For the better. Much...much for the better.
I remember when I found out that Emma was a vegetarian and in fact, so was her older sister.
My young mind was extremely confused on why someone would bother so much with their diet just to avoid a little meat. Emma tried explaining to me that one person does change a lot when they make one decision that seems minuscule. Of course, that seems logical, right? Not to a thirteen year old girl that is only focused on what should be the trendiest fashion next week. When Emma and I met I was focused merely on fitting in, as of course...I never had. Therefore I tried harder. Over the years her family and their ideas rubbed off on me. Especially Emma's mother.... She influenced me on so many things and I admire her greatly. She is a woman who approaches beauty in a natural way. I was so stunned to see a woman who didn't spend hours in front of the mirror painting their face up with make up.* and please don' t get me wrong, I am not saying that make up is an evil by any means just...sometimes the concept of enhancing beauty becomes masking it ....anyhow*
What am I trying to say? Oh, I don' t know. Just like always. But really, I think I'm just realizing more and more, a little each day as to how much I love that family and how lucky I am to have them in my life.

I can't lie
You have broken me.
I have been here lying in my bed endlessly.
For a while,it was necessary to believe i was dead.. It hurt a bit less that way.
You don't understand the depression you have sent me into.
I don't understand. If i reach the overdose in time maybe evacuation wont be necessary.
Reach it reach it.
Kill it.
STOP ITS KILLING ME.
you captured me.
tortured me.
Now i'm broken hurting and writhing in this you have given me.
Your beat is killing me.
you like it that way.

sourhitswafflesspikemockingbirdszachmiserableandstunning

We are going to lie. We are going to live in this lie.
If I could continue to let this way of fake poetic life flow then I would escape. But it is time to own up... That there is nothing left. If you could take a step back and see that being as fake as we are is lifeless then you too, would want to escape. I WANT OUT. Out out out, the parking lot.
Scramble out. The innocence ran away with the lust.
The money ran away with the soul.
The trust ran away with the eyes.
THE hallelujah burrowed down.
The key of reasons were flustered when they realized they had no point.
Fake qualities bring us to this point.
if you are awaiting the fresh fresh fresh then you can forget it baby.
I have never made sense. Neither has the world.
Jesus has a pretty picture.
Don't pretend you ever forgot about me.
It's not a fashion magazine.
I can't live in the dark anymore.
I'm coming home to my father.

stand.

My routine must be broken.
The chains. They must be broken.
My veil....must be torn.
Come back to me my love.
Come back.
Let's rejoice once again for our love we have found.
Let's rejoice over the stars and the truth and the love.
Let's break the continuous cycle that has been going round and round. From generation to generation.
Break my heart, and my bones. Bash the face that once received your gentle kisses.
How,well, must it be said.
Feeling this distance between you and I is something that cannot be shaken.
Pull that close.
DISRESPECT.
FAUX CHAUD .....
dat be the truth muh bruthaaah.
Keeping it locked up ....keeping it locked DOWN.
I would be glad to see the old face staring me in the mirror.
For...then.... she, she had your love.
Now the reflection has changed.
Your reflection has changed.
STOP THE Puppet.

It's ironic....that when you are younger you have better ideas.
My thoughts have been pointless over the past six months or so.
A passiveness high.

Take me.
BREAK ME.
put me back in that place.
I was who I was, for no other reason than, I had to be.
I no longer have to be.
Who Am I Now
God?