Free to ...Live?

Often in this vast, empty society we lose ourselves. Throughout every single day another small part of our nature slips deeper into the distance of our souls. Simple words we swore we'd never reuse become our everyday lingo. If this goes on without any meaning we will surely become just what we had feared. Slow down, live in purity and check out the view. Find your peace in the old songs we would sing. Stop truly dwelling on what could have or should have been. Start painting your new picture now. Let the old pieces go...God already has...
My words to you, don't let it go that far.


Zach and I broke up. I'd like to say I'm not broken, but I'd only force a lie. I'm confused...pained...way beyond measure. It's funny what we think we understand, and even funnier when we realize we know so very little.
I'm not in school...which freaked me out at first but I think I'm seeing God's true desire for me. I thought I really had given it all to Him, until he stripped it all away and made it clearer than clear that I was working for my own gratification. I'm in the process of getting an estimate per semester for Concordia in Ann Arbor. I've looked there so many times but gave up before I really started because of tuition. Guess I wasn't trusting God too much, eh? Double major in Family life social services and psychology, Minor in exercise science? I say, Yes! And I firmly believe God does as well. However, seeking his true will is the biggest mystery in my life.
I am so blessed to have people in my life to help me through this awkward time. Steve Adrien has been a huge help. We talk until about five in the morning every night.
Being myself, and myself alone ...through Christ is probably the best thing I've ever done. I've never gotten a chance to reestablish myself. I am so glad I have this opportunity.

So, if I am seeing a potential picture...Concordia in January, Haiti in May? However, I am not going to go try to plan anything without God this time. Thoroughly with Him is the only way. I thought I was doing things His way, truly I did...what a wake up call I received. DON'T WAIT FOR IT TO GET TO THAT POINT! I beg of you, surrender now.
Cartel, your poetry never fails me.
God grant me serenity.