Hey man, Kesha called...she wants her song back

Selfishness, conviction and time remain beneath your crime.
Hold the hand that bleeds out and find the time you can share while you can’t breathe.
Timing, promise, holding them down…
Seeing it all from the inside out
We promised baby, oh we would never have a doubt.
Look at the years and lies that got us here.
Neither shame nor promise
No courtesy or fear can stop us from getting nearer

You remain ashamed and retain your fear
move on in lies and quickly in time

All your doors are closed; keep your chin up kiddo.
If you gave up timing love will be your reward

Silly girl gunna be sayin

Overlooking the horizon you set your gaze
and up above the haze you see yourself breathing in for a new day again.
Sitting abruptly you soon realize the urgency of this setting.
Without his control you have broken ground and you can't back out.
You control it.
Block out that melody and listen to your own.

Overlook the horizon, set your gaze.
Forget the haze, forget that night is falling fast.
Continue the trail until the goal is present and your hopes redeemed...unbroken.
Keep fighting until they have seized their own. Surely it will happen.
Fight your heavy eyes and bleeding side.
Their needs are higher now, by and by.

"&hearts"

So, I am finding that within these last few days my guitar has become my best friend.
These times are trying but at least I am returning to my initial passion....music and writing.
Maybe I'll actually become fairly good at it someday and it can actually take off, eh?
I haven't been eating well this past month. I've dropped about ten pounds, but it doesn't show...and I don't feel better either.
Peace out my "followers" of which I have two, and neither of you read my blog...
^^

Free to ...Live?

Often in this vast, empty society we lose ourselves. Throughout every single day another small part of our nature slips deeper into the distance of our souls. Simple words we swore we'd never reuse become our everyday lingo. If this goes on without any meaning we will surely become just what we had feared. Slow down, live in purity and check out the view. Find your peace in the old songs we would sing. Stop truly dwelling on what could have or should have been. Start painting your new picture now. Let the old pieces go...God already has...
My words to you, don't let it go that far.


Zach and I broke up. I'd like to say I'm not broken, but I'd only force a lie. I'm confused...pained...way beyond measure. It's funny what we think we understand, and even funnier when we realize we know so very little.
I'm not in school...which freaked me out at first but I think I'm seeing God's true desire for me. I thought I really had given it all to Him, until he stripped it all away and made it clearer than clear that I was working for my own gratification. I'm in the process of getting an estimate per semester for Concordia in Ann Arbor. I've looked there so many times but gave up before I really started because of tuition. Guess I wasn't trusting God too much, eh? Double major in Family life social services and psychology, Minor in exercise science? I say, Yes! And I firmly believe God does as well. However, seeking his true will is the biggest mystery in my life.
I am so blessed to have people in my life to help me through this awkward time. Steve Adrien has been a huge help. We talk until about five in the morning every night.
Being myself, and myself alone ...through Christ is probably the best thing I've ever done. I've never gotten a chance to reestablish myself. I am so glad I have this opportunity.

So, if I am seeing a potential picture...Concordia in January, Haiti in May? However, I am not going to go try to plan anything without God this time. Thoroughly with Him is the only way. I thought I was doing things His way, truly I did...what a wake up call I received. DON'T WAIT FOR IT TO GET TO THAT POINT! I beg of you, surrender now.
Cartel, your poetry never fails me.
God grant me serenity.

True

They were the only ones to give the unconditional love.
It's funny how they're stuck on the other side of the planet with nothing clean to drink.
But they've got it all figured out.
We've got the comfort for now. but later...we're screwed. trust me.

Twenty years have broken you down and now you are of age.

I miss the days when my father would drive my family somewhere and I would sit in the back seat....with my CD player or Cassette player...staring out the window and watching anything and everything. Soaking it all in like the intense little sponge I was.
I hate the days that have consumed me. The few times I get the chance to be a passenger in a car I feel an obligation to watch the road. Every time I force myself to look to my right and watch the road fly by....I find my attention averting to the road ahead of me and flibbling traffic!
Grawr. I hate the obligation that came with age 16.
I hate the reasons to say put the past away.
Flobblethis.

Dreams, Be dreams.Dream on.

You know it's bad when you wonder if he wishes he could hold her instead.
Looking and longing. Shoot.
Today was a long day.
Amanda came to church with me this morning and was half dead. She looked like she needed to be in the hospital.
After that we went to the Bryde's house...
It took all of us forever to figure out to eat our "MRE"'s or more like ...cook them without burning our hands off ^^
They're pretty much disgusting. But way better than no food at all right?!
Anyway, not going to lie. I'm getting a bit on the nervous side. Erm.
I know it's the right thing. But this trip can confirm so many things for me. And THAT is what makes me nervous.
I feel things slipping right out of my hands....but at the same time I know I need to let them go.....
It's very...very unfortunate.
Shawn prefers not to grow up.......

Make the tags

Finding at this hour is a pure impossibility.
Loss is all that shall claim stake.
Sympathize with his needs.
Call it in.
Deny the fact that you and me are just breaking it in.
Stop sending me.
Whenever I'm done, it's never enough.
Keep pressing me on.
It's never enough.
Repetition that seems like a love should be less complicated.
You're never putting it back together.
We just keep breaking it in.
Don't bother to find it at this hour.
You cannot put it back together.
You will end in this warped state of chaos and mind.
Will anyone ever be able to reconstruct the patter of this mind?
Oh, please my beloved. Your lips are worthy of sweet kisses.
Scratch that. Take it funky. Leave them stunned.
Leave me someone else and let the thoughts flow.

You look at them with confusion

You think them to be purely crazy when you see their dreams.
You think them to be disgusting when you see their true desires.
Some do this to cover up their pain.
Some do this because they know they must over exaggerate their hopes because they know if they don't push themselves to the limit they will fail before reaching half their goal.
Don't tell me it's gross.
You don't know half the reason they reach for what they do.
Unfortunately I know.
just keep it locked.

Mary

Making it a pact for the sake of the lies.
Let us be reminded of why we tried.
It was tranquil confusion
which ended up languid care.
Rejoice, be alive in His timing.
step up, tell me why I am
Do no more of this vivid lying
step up, tell me what you wanted to be.
Just keep on trying.
tell them why they are, have the strength
Every different soul is precious
you are precious.
That rush is not equal to your only soul.
Change the world in any small way you can
With your one and individual soul.

Short lived pretenses

Never thought I'd be at this.
Never thought we'd be back to this.
We haven't a respected ounce for our God at this point in time.
We change our waves of gratitude with unfortunate blissful states of lies.
The pressure we feel is molding us.
The pressure we feel is turning us.
No more.
I'm done!

Understsand.

"You know you don't belong here"
It's the lie they have been feeding you from your first breath.
Don't fight it any longer.
Their hate will only make you thrive stronger.
They have said you are a bit too insane
you have beauty dancing around their every moment.
Rephrased,
re-cut ya orchestral foe.
Emptiness rephrased,
It sounds just like your heart beating against mine.
Baby, we do lie in safely timing.
If we can run away where we do not know them we could be just like them.
I'm not feeling the strong rush.
Does anyone know why we are here?
We have our money, skeptics and religious fits. But none of them got us here.
Let's leave this as is.
Your open silly wound will heal and it'll keep spinning. Fate is at hand and cryptic intimidation will be with light this time.
No running anymore.
Let us love it.

In too deep and too drawn to keep

you've cut out the heart and buried the shame
you'll find me
deeply hidden in your frame.
I have cheapened the truth and my deepest love.
I cannot continue to fight for who is wrong or who is right.
Replacements must occur

Scared, burning all alone.

"You all claim to love me.
But at this point it's plain to see I serve no purpose
And that I am better off dead.
They speak in their own twisted tongues with lyrics and foes.
But I won't stand to see this one more day.
No I'm running away.
I can stand it no more.
And when I'm gone oh, who could care.
I'm missing in soul ,as missing in purpose.
I cannot claim to be your better half when I am not half of it at all.
I can see the vein in my hand clambering away.
Born a supreme scorpion dying a rushed out fiend.
The tornado is dead in it's sunlight.

The fresh supremest is reborn on his territory rephrase your lyrics bound by tongue.
Piercing like the plights of golden ages. Hear me out . "

Time and space. A place of languid disgrace

More or less. Not much has actually happened lately in a tangible sense. But God has given me much....clarity on things in the past few weeks. I finally feel a real change. Not a change of a flip flop of closeness but a change of progression. I finally have a plan. I finally have Love and peace.
In a sense. I finally feel like myself again. Beneficial.

At your expense reach for the litter.

Your poison makes me sick.
Your poison makes me nauseous.
My poison should make me ill as well, however it's mine.
I am blind to its affects; as you are to yours.

Baby, Now I finally see what we really are addicted to.
I now see our true addiction.
Let's hold on tight.
And smoke that safe cigarette that he tells us about.

Your poison makes me sick.
This poison should make me ill as well, however it's my nicotine.
That safe cigarette is a lie you know.
It's addicting poison.
Seeping from his lungs,he grins in spite
He had too much as a demon so now he wishes to share with us.
Sharing the poison makes it less lonely for him you know.

Your poison makes me sick, Your poison tells me truth.
My poison kills quieter than yours.
My poison will reign,will show... in the kingdom.
Your poison reigns now.

There is healing for all who are willing to come.
Admit your imperfection and fall at the feet of Love.
Accept your imperfection Lila.

I'm fortunate your poison makes me ill as soon as it presses my lips.
Although my version is as harmful, just a far distance is dancing.

Imagine all the people he controls.
Let's rest now.
Please, it's now you and your big dreams.

I cannot take your words anymore. I would like my own please.

Once I was frightened of the maturity intuition.
She was right though, she was right.
I wouldn't be alone.

>>>S.C.Hawk?

telza

Ever fear you will let old precious memories float out of your mind?
At this point I'm afraid they're already slippin.
When am I gunna hit twenty two? I'm frightened the answer isn't in three years.

Messin around?
Only cause the girl needs some affection.
Truth there.
It's amazing the power of that voice.
As of late, I haven't been able to reach that vocal point...that level.
It's a journey ladies.
We're going to rise.

Sunny came home?

Today I discovered the name and artist of an old favorite song of mine.
Sunny came home by Shawn Colvin. Beautiful stuff if you ask me <3

Sunny came home to her favorite room
Sunny sat down in the kitchen
She opened a book and a box of tools
Sunny came home with a mission


She says days go by I'm hypnotized
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire


Sunny came home with a list of names
She didn't believe in transcendence
It's time for a few small repairs she said
Sunny came home with a vengeance


She says days go by I don't know why
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire


Get the kids and bring a sweater
Dry is good and wind is better
Count the years, you always knew it
Strike a match, go on and do it


Days go by I'm hypnotized
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire
Light the sky and hold on tight
The world is burning down
She's out there on her own and she's alright
Sunny came home
Sunny came home

Kitchen wires.

God I feel this timing is a bit off.
Although, Father when hasn't it been?
What am I going to do if it's not there for me anymore?
Is this part of your plan too? Must I somehow lead them out of their desperation.
Father, Father hear my cries again. Please, I beg. It saves. It saves. I've seen it.
Every time. Every time I see that sign my heart is recreated. I feel, recreated in your image. It takes me home and I know it does for them too. It will keep recreating for years and years if it is left to thrive...But is it true it's going under?
We cannot go under with the waves Dad.
We just cannot
We were told to continue in your ways and that is just what we will do.
What are we to do though?
What....I am to do?
Every time I end up sinning in a morally insane fashion. I hate my ridiculous desires, addictions and....boredom.
The love isn't allowed to be fulfilled.
Therefore, the body finds its way into the cold.
The body can't clean itself up out there.
It just appears way too wicked to heal.
It's a tossing and turning that isn't stable. It just isn't clean, by any means.
Saving it,saving you, saving me, saving them, literally from the key.


If it could have been a warmth of liability it would have been.


On the angleshot , in the kitchen the blood rested in the container.
The habit is dull.
The container is dully abused.
With her vengeance she can clean the loseta.
Without her vengeance she is left in an uncomfortable solitude with her container.
The container wont break its safe stare from her body.
Long... dark wavy hair laid out on her dramatic collar bones.
A light blue dress hung loosely on what appeared to be an overall, frail appearance.
....After a period of time her dark hair grayed and her porcelain like complexion began to sag.
The droopiness of her eyes scared the container.
The container could clearly see all things.
With a distorted view she beckoned the container to come closer.
When twisted around the container sighed a sigh of relief. To see the loseta clean and tightly fastened to her soulay.

Don't judge it at this point hun, you wont understand. Don't fear because it is not bad, it is not dark, it is not evil. It just is what it is from. It is safe. It is an outlet. It is a broken barrier.
And lilies are allowed to grow there. Do not fear. God is here. Lilies will grow in those fields.
Clear, significant and in a row.
In a bottle of romshahs and locked in a basket the lilies can grow. Do not fear. God is there too.
We will be kept safe. Realize he listens from all angles. Even in containers. You can limit his ability to work in you, but he will always be ready to be of the loseta.

Titllllllllle less

"And it feels like you be knocked breathless straight up one more time, bitch"
Those flying words came out of no where.
"What you thinkin you lookin at anyway girl?"
At this point the lifelessness and poison had seeped so far into her veins that there was not much to do to save her. And truth be told, I'm not sure anyone would have saved her anyway even if they had the ability.
The karma is too far above your head to comprehend but please baby, You have to understand that poison. Mmmmm. It had a control like no other. Mmmm.....like no one had seeeeeen.
It was time to take over, to harden up, to lock down, to be alone and scattered. Only you can take care of you, that's the truth.