Problem

Once in a while it gets so set on being a part of this,
being open and honest.
Without your lies in life things have never been the same.
But I still see you around.
Never been caught, all this hitting the pavement is nothing new.
There's no need for excuses about being honest with yourself.
You're not the same anyway.
I won't beg you to stay, there was no stopping it from the start.
I thought I wouldn't walk away,
however, look at this baby,
I don't care anymore, what you say.
It's not the same. It doesn't matter anyway.
I'll be seeing you around.
It's less than amazing that you walked away.
Stop wasting time getting to the point.
I've nothin left to say so it doesn't matter, stand up with me.
They know we're coming.

When you have something in your mind, you change your mind.
Stop changing your mind.
Bank on something real.
The selfish behavior is eating the flesh of those that bleed the same as you.
Make them see, stand up with me.

Nothing

Water that is unable to quench my thirst,alters in flames
and relentless ties, all one in the same for this hour.
We can't write to save a tithing trial.
When I look back at the time of being one in the same with your affliction I cry.
Maybe if i made a reserve of all that remained I could alter the destined consonants.
If you are no longer the flames taking my flesh, forget it.
I won't be one with another.
Challenge the afflicted and thoughtless.
If there is a dreamer, where is the constructor...
With desires and unquenchable thirst, anger and fretting will be the endless fortune.

With nothing possible to catch the drowning bodies, cry for what you want more.
If Jesus is your nothing possible. Cry out Iliadless child.

Summer air and bitter shier.

I miss the days when my world was smaller.
I miss when the view of the river created a much more chaotic peace than it does now.
Jordan can create reverberations yet, echo-less times.
You are everywhere in between, places I have found, empty spaces and of course, blank faces.
When we were younger we would have called this "thinking deeper than the rest of the world" Now, we say we are just tired.
I'm home tonight.
Without you, I will be here with or without you.
When He gave us what the world couldn't offer us we cried out and the praises were crazier than what had ever been lifted up.
Times like these make me frightened of one more day.
The darkness the foreigners call ricketbacks are closing in on us faster than we can foresee.
We thought it would never be lost. And God only knows, the children are the ones living in the strong moments, where they belong. With mere cliche, hold on tight and get ready to fight.
With all the music we loved and the homework we forgot, moments attested, we lived for summer air and bitter shier.
Let me have these moments back, stop telling me to stop saying I'm alive.
Stop telling me I shouldn't use the word things.
Everything is a thing. Deal.

Peace of this deal, we aren't alone together.
We are still the same. We couldn't take a chance. Pack up all you have, simple times, simple people, simple smiles. Everything cannot own what you miss.

Hey man, Kesha called...she wants her song back

Selfishness, conviction and time remain beneath your crime.
Hold the hand that bleeds out and find the time you can share while you can’t breathe.
Timing, promise, holding them down…
Seeing it all from the inside out
We promised baby, oh we would never have a doubt.
Look at the years and lies that got us here.
Neither shame nor promise
No courtesy or fear can stop us from getting nearer

You remain ashamed and retain your fear
move on in lies and quickly in time

All your doors are closed; keep your chin up kiddo.
If you gave up timing love will be your reward

Silly girl gunna be sayin

Overlooking the horizon you set your gaze
and up above the haze you see yourself breathing in for a new day again.
Sitting abruptly you soon realize the urgency of this setting.
Without his control you have broken ground and you can't back out.
You control it.
Block out that melody and listen to your own.

Overlook the horizon, set your gaze.
Forget the haze, forget that night is falling fast.
Continue the trail until the goal is present and your hopes redeemed...unbroken.
Keep fighting until they have seized their own. Surely it will happen.
Fight your heavy eyes and bleeding side.
Their needs are higher now, by and by.

"&hearts"

So, I am finding that within these last few days my guitar has become my best friend.
These times are trying but at least I am returning to my initial passion....music and writing.
Maybe I'll actually become fairly good at it someday and it can actually take off, eh?
I haven't been eating well this past month. I've dropped about ten pounds, but it doesn't show...and I don't feel better either.
Peace out my "followers" of which I have two, and neither of you read my blog...
^^

Free to ...Live?

Often in this vast, empty society we lose ourselves. Throughout every single day another small part of our nature slips deeper into the distance of our souls. Simple words we swore we'd never reuse become our everyday lingo. If this goes on without any meaning we will surely become just what we had feared. Slow down, live in purity and check out the view. Find your peace in the old songs we would sing. Stop truly dwelling on what could have or should have been. Start painting your new picture now. Let the old pieces go...God already has...
My words to you, don't let it go that far.


Zach and I broke up. I'd like to say I'm not broken, but I'd only force a lie. I'm confused...pained...way beyond measure. It's funny what we think we understand, and even funnier when we realize we know so very little.
I'm not in school...which freaked me out at first but I think I'm seeing God's true desire for me. I thought I really had given it all to Him, until he stripped it all away and made it clearer than clear that I was working for my own gratification. I'm in the process of getting an estimate per semester for Concordia in Ann Arbor. I've looked there so many times but gave up before I really started because of tuition. Guess I wasn't trusting God too much, eh? Double major in Family life social services and psychology, Minor in exercise science? I say, Yes! And I firmly believe God does as well. However, seeking his true will is the biggest mystery in my life.
I am so blessed to have people in my life to help me through this awkward time. Steve Adrien has been a huge help. We talk until about five in the morning every night.
Being myself, and myself alone ...through Christ is probably the best thing I've ever done. I've never gotten a chance to reestablish myself. I am so glad I have this opportunity.

So, if I am seeing a potential picture...Concordia in January, Haiti in May? However, I am not going to go try to plan anything without God this time. Thoroughly with Him is the only way. I thought I was doing things His way, truly I did...what a wake up call I received. DON'T WAIT FOR IT TO GET TO THAT POINT! I beg of you, surrender now.
Cartel, your poetry never fails me.
God grant me serenity.